"For You O Lord are a shield about me, You are the glory and lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3

"For You O Lord are a shield about me, You are the glory and lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I Carry Your Heart

We enjoyed the last official day of summer at our house and happily partook in the casual morning of mama folding laundry over cups of coffee and sisterhood growing in giggles and play.

We swam with sweet friends and let babies splash with popsicle hands while we caught up on life.
Then retreated back home for overcast cloudy naps for tired babes.
with Emma & Stacie and those baby girls

This mama's heart still feels like a little girl sometimes.  Still needing her daddy.  
My crepe myrtles are the only thing still alive in my backyard.  I smile each time I see them blooming and I remember him while my babies play.
Crepe myrtles, smokey scents from the grill, the little old man who looks just like him in Panera each week.
I carry him in my heart.
She giggles and I turn to look.  Because he's filling up her heart with an honoring love and affection.  
My heart is happy.  Grateful. 
And my sports fanatic husband turns into mush, a completely unhindered and uncomposed man when he celebrates her.  Bunny knows it too.
How big is Ali?
So big! 

Bear went to sleep excited.  She knew what tomorrow would hold.
with sweet Toni
First day of school.
Her school packet had sheets on how to help your child cope with separation anxiety, leaving the car in the drop-off line, making adjustments to change.  Sister has no clue what this is or why it would possibly be challenging.  My pediatrician shook his head when after asking me every visit how separation anxiety was going, at 9 months, 12 months, 2 years...the response was always the same.
She has no problem leaving me.
We read the books about mommy fitting in her pocket as she goes to school.  She thinks it's cute but nothing more.  And that's just fine by me.

She requested the Pioneer Woman's breakfast sandwich to fill her tummy on her first day.  We happily included her new show to our cooking episode line up...and I cranked out a baby-on-the-hip version of the dish.

Drop off was easier than last year.  I practically did long-division in my head to keep from crying, repeating to myself over and over keep it together, keep it together.
My girl gently reminds me it's only 2 days a week.
I know Love, I know.

And I carry her in my heart all day.  
We spent today completely unproductive and made no strides in the things to be done.  I keep staring at my to-do list and piles of stuff everywhere that need to be taken back to their place.
But she wants to play, and paint, and feed her baby sister.  She wants to take advantage of the cloudy day and climb into mama's bed to watch Sleeping Beauty for the hundredth time.
So we did.
Best.  Day.  Ever.
We'll go pick her up soon and I'll play it cool like I did this morning.
But deep down I'm a nut.  Crazy in love with her and excited to hear about her day.
Waiting for the welcome mat into her heart.
I carry hers in mine.

I carry your heart with me {I carry it in my heart}
I am never without it {anywhere I go you go, my dear}...
EE Cummings

1 comment:

  1. The love in your heart for your girls will always be there through all of these precious times they are going through! How did Emma's and Sophie's first day go??? I bet " Bunny " missed them so much! Loved Emma's pink backpack!!!! So darling with her pink flower in her hair! Sophie's hair is so adorable!! Precious picture of Toni and the girls on the slide!!!! Loved that! You really really are an amazing mommy!!!! What an incredible life you and Chris have given these girls!!!!!