"For You O Lord are a shield about me, You are the glory and lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3

"For You O Lord are a shield about me, You are the glory and lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Goodness of Today

I'm impatient.  
I like fast results, not a quick fix but an actual speedy progression.  It's why I like mowing yards, you instantly have alternating shades of green striped into your lawn, preferably in diagonals.  It's why I like running, to-do lists, baking...all things you can start and finish and there's something to show for within minutes.

I would be a horrible farmer because I would want an instantaneous harvest.   
This week has been challenging for me as a mama.  I want quick results and solutions.  I want a 5-step plan to ridding my oldest of the poor choices she's making that scare me and cause me to battle with the lies that this is how she will always be.  Moments when I don't want to take time to respond in a way that she knows I can handle her mistakes.  I just want her behavior and poor choices to stop.  Like, now.

Of course I know that's not how it works and it will never work like that.  Because any good harvest is the result of tireless preparing, tilling, sewing, and waiting.

But one day, the farmer strolls out early before the house stirs and he stretches out his sun worn hands and inspects the very first fruit.  In time the harvest is ready for the picking.
I like this part.
I want this part now.
I want someone to tell me exactly where I am in the process of the harvest.  How much longer do I have and when is the fruit going to be here already.
I know this answer will not come and doesn't exist.
Because 4 years ago when they placed her tiny pink skinned body in my arms, I signed up for this.  I signed up for a lifetime laboring and harvesting.  I signed up to be a farmer.
And the beauty of this thing called motherhood is the every day harvest will pass me by, if I'm only focused on her dirt and not her gold.  If I allow my own fears and frustrations to overwhelm instead of choosing His joy and gratitude.

If my only focus is the harvest then I will miss the goodness of today.

How she glances up at me to make sure I'm still watching her and applauding her sand castle efforts.
How she shimmies across the yard with her own agenda.  Eating sand and rolling the ball to mama complete with cackles and giggles.
How when she sleeps I am captivated by love and find myself staring, watching as her little back rises and falls, her sweet breath exhales as she hugs the sheets below.
How when the train comes, she bursts with joy that streamlines right into her heart, and she can't help but wave and whisper...
Hi train, hi.

How quickly He reminds me to find joy and take gratitude in the journey of motherhood.  How He has sprinkled His heart for them all over my day.

I am thankful.
My friend Lisa stopped in town with her beautiful family.  We've been friends for 26 years, our friendship started up in kindergarten.  We even went to college together.  She's beautiful, just absolutely beautiful.  We snacked on lunch and watched our little versions of ourselves make and create.
This is the age we were when we met.
So funny to remember the years we have stored up in our hearts and now that includes our babes.
What a blessing.

I am thankful.

Friday night is Family Night at the Doke house.  Sometimes it's just us, usually back at the nest playing and chillin'.  Sometimes it's with other families, this past Friday was the latter.
And that means serving up pizza and calling them from their forest adventures to come and eat.  Shifting babies from hip to hip and catching up on life with our mamas and daddies.
Letting the sunset bring us inside for homemade suckers and more conversation.

And I am thankful.
These little morsels have been calling my name since I first saw them on Pinterest.  So while babies napped, I happily baked in the kitchen.  
Pumkpin. Whoopie. Pies.  
This recipe is absolutely positively divine.  I usually like to tweak recipes but I left this one alone, aside from adding more cinnamon to the filling and making my cookies extra tiny so they were like little bites.  
I ate many.  I lost count of exactly how many I had.
Pure deliciousness.
Speaking of deliciousness, this baby continues to wreck me.  I feel like anything she does makes me cheer, laugh, cry, and just act like I've completely lost my mind.  Because let's face it, I think I have.
No worries, I can deal. 
And catching this moment was just the berries.  As Beth Moore says, it's a God-stop. Any moment when He stops you and says I'm here.  I needed this moment, my heart craved a glimpse of truth and perspective. 
Sometimes parenting is hard.  Sometimes it's really hard.  
And deep in my heart I know the truth, that I have been entrusted with royalty.  That there's no placed I'd rather be.  
My mama knows this motherhood thing pretty well.
My family came to visit.  We had a great time together playing, enjoying the magic that Sooner football brings to this town.

My mama, she knows how to love.  She truly relishes in the love and caring for others.
Even though her own babies are grown and gone, she's still doing it for other folks.
How blessed they are.

Tonight the storms rolled in with a boisterously beautiful entrance, turning the sky dark shades of grey and silver. Lightening streams and waves of thunder.  
I tucked in babies and told them how much I love them.

I thought about the week to come and how I want to enjoy my work in the fields this week, not merely focus on the desired harvest but more so delighting in my labor.  In the hours and days, weeks and months of sewing. Carefully planting seeds and tenderly covering them up.  Pouring into the soil the very drenching things she needs most.

Stopping in my day when my heart feels heavy and telling Him, I am thankful.
Oh how thankful I am. 
Do not grow weary in doing what is good, 
for in time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we do not give up.  
Galatians 6:9

I am thankful.


  1. best URL on the internet - http://lifewiththedokes.blogspot.com/

    i love this post, so much! thank you for being so encouraging and letting us in on the Goodness of Today! can't wait to see you later today. love you friend!

  2. Great post! Perfect description of motherhood, loved it

  3. Love you sweet friend - You are just an incredible mommy :)