"For You O Lord are a shield about me, You are the glory and lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3

"For You O Lord are a shield about me, You are the glory and lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3

Monday, February 25, 2013

Just Thinking

It's still dark out, it's early morning, and she's standing in the doorway of our bedroom.  She's jammied, holding her lovie by his ear, wearing her sister's sacred "fancy occasion" black, patent shoes, silent in her ferocious suck of the pacifier we were supposed to get rid of a few months ago when she turned 2.  
I tell her to go back upstairs, that it's not time to come down yet.
In her disobedience she stares me down, not moving an inch, and her eyes communicate Bring it on, lady.
Alice Elizabeth.  Good groceries, here we go.

I've been thinking a lot lately, or maybe I should say I've been thinking and reflecting more than usual.  I find it a treasure, really.  In fact I'd say in motherhood I'm finding there are rare treasures such as uninterrupted thought, actually getting to answer the phone, going potty without an audience and various comments and adjectives about their observations.
Sometimes my brain and heart meet up for reflection, sometimes the Lord whispers in the early morning hours when I'm still.  Sometimes it's just wonderful and inspiring, other times more of the harsh reality of things that are current, much in need of refinement and uprooting.

This month my thinking has come in random packages, places I'd rather not be and yet at the same time feeling blessed.
We were headed out to meet up with a few other families and my Bella was laying, waiting for a quick bath.  I noticed 2 veins running across her chest, like a road map meeting at a point.  I ran my fingers over the vein and my pushed in fingers ended on a lump the size of a dime.
I feel like we all come to these points over and over in our lives, in our days.  It's like my brain wants to jump to home base, grasping and flipping through catalogues fervently searching for past knowledge or experience.  Meanwhile fear stands at the door gritting its teeth, searching for minds and hearts to crack the door enough so devouring intrusion can engulf and captivate.

I'm thinking, absolutely not.

After a doctor's appointment and ultrasound, we rejoiced in the news of a benign and harmless tumor.  Another ultrasound in a few weeks to measure for growth and choices from there to remove or let it be.

We're so thankful.  I don't think there's a word to articulate the swells of gratitude we feel.

Our pace picked back up just a bit but a few days later, slowed us right back down.  My Bella was struggling with a cold for a few weeks and began to have short gasps for breath.
I took her to the emergency room and learned she has pneumonia and bronchiolitis.  The doctor loaded us up on medicine and sent us home.

My girl has been sleeping a lot, she's a champ.  I made some changes in the schedule and we've been home more than usual.  And some days, that means more time for thinking and remembering.  And baking. 

And I love it.
There's a scattered beauty going on right now.  I need pages to write it all down but for now I love how the pictures tell a story.

Daddy Daughter Dance.  They look forward to it all year.  We primp all afternoon.

We had a week's worth of celebration for Valentine's Day.  We made shirts, cookies, addressed Valentines for classmates, and shuttled a crew of babies to school for parties.

With a lot of posing and dancing first, of course.

I read an article on the Huffington Post, saying how mamas need to jump in pictures more.  The article is wonderful and so true.

I'm working on it.  

Lately I think my girl has been thinking more too.  She's communicating her emotions and logic.  Making suggestions for solutions, double checking my grocery list.  Wanting to help.  
And at night, she wants to be rocked, sang to, and prayed over like she was as a baby.

I'm thinking I like this a lot and my answer will always be yes.

And sister's mischievous endeavors continue.  I mean this child is scheming and brewing up plans most of the day.

I'm thinking there's no place I'd rather be than here.  Present.  Whatever it may be.
A grocery store aisle.  Standing over a stove.  A walk with a dear friend.  A waiting room.  
He's taking thoughts and moving them into my heart, anchoring down His truth and perspective.  
Just thinking.  I should do this more often.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Ebb & Flow

Ebb and flow.  My favorite phrase right now, in fact, I throw most things in life into this fantastic category at the current moment.
Because we do, we ebb and flow around here.  Rhythms are helpful, structure and guidelines keep us on track.  Lists are made, crossed off, and sometimes crumpled up and thrown away.
We go and do.  We focus on little beings learning who they are.  Learning how wonderfully they are created.  We love and we forgive.  We make messes and we clean then up.

We try out efficient methods and decide they work and others we happy toss to the discard pile.  We settle into projects and get dinner on the table one day, the next day we hope he'll hear it in our voice that what is most needed in the moment is for you to walk in the door with pizza and not ask any questions.

Ebb and flow, baby.  
Happily enjoying this wonderful phrase and welcoming in the new year with ambitions and dreams with Him, asking for much and receiving.  Leaving hearts happy for the many joys awaiting grateful embrace.
Enjoying right now...
Sisters love

Reading together in a pile of babies that smell of outside play and peanut butter and jelly, bodies close and snuggled.  Currently learning about Marmee's wisdom and gentleness, and 4 sisters that follow close behind.

My girl is into everything.  Alice Elizabeth.  Sister leaves her mark, literally.
And at the same time celebrating how big she is.  Sister moved out of her crib.  She's so big and girl will let you know it too.

And while I cuddle this precious baby in all of her deliciousness, I remember when my Rose was once so tiny.

Sister turned 6 this month.  Many celebrations to fill up her tank full.
Birthday traditions of your cake request met, dinner out, a small family trip.

Treats at school and a very special Show and Tell item, Miss Jane.

My girl blesses me so.  She extends grace so beautifully and longs to help and care.  She's determined and tender hearted.  She'll bake you cookies and leaves a glass of water at my bedside each night.

With the BEST kindergarten teach ever, the lovely Teacher Nancy,
And since these ladies know their royalty, a charming prince came to school.  Whisking her away with flowers and lunch.
Oh this hunk a burnin' man melts me.
He loves them deeply and shows them pursuit.  He's the celebrity warranting cheers and shrieks when he comes home from work.

He's just simply the berries.
A new tradition I'm loving, birthday gifts wrapped up in truth from the Father's heart.
Words spoken over her before her much requested birth story we tell each girl, every year, on her birthday.  I remember it so, like it was yesterday.

We're enjoying these babies.

We ebb and flow with the every day challenge and mundane.  We forgive and ask for forgiveness in the same breath.

We delight in the every day because He beautifully weaves a tapestry lined with greatness and purpose.  He writes this story, He sings over us, and we delight in gratitude to be in this dance.

Happy Monday.