"For You O Lord are a shield about me, You are the glory and lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3

"For You O Lord are a shield about me, You are the glory and lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

I'm Jello

There's a picture behind every story.  A back story to every moment that appears seamless when in fact the reality means that hard work, planning, sweat, and tears were the recipe.  A recipe that could yield success, failure, or a mixture of both.

I was feeling spontaneous and fun.  A spur of the moment "Hey, who wants to go to the zoo?" offer to my girls which was gladly accepted.  So as anyone knows with a crew of littles, spontaneous means a minimum of an hour of preparing, sitting bottoms on potties, changing diapers, nursing, packing the car.  Only this trip I packed a pretty awesome lunch with everyone's healthy favorites, plenty of tasty snacks and refreshing drinks.  Alice is potty training so I made sure the liquids were cut off, she went potty, extra clothes were packed.  And off we went.  My friend Liz and her baby Naifeh came along for a pleasant afternoon.  I'd set us up for success, maybe a few notches short of perfection.

It went downhill from there.

After the half hour trek from the overflow parking lot and progression into the middle of the zoo, I realize I have forgotten the stellar lunch etc that I packed.  The line for processed fried grub was endless.  So about the time I rummage through my wallet and fish out cash to buy ice cream for lunch, Alice pees her pants as she's admiring the rhino exhibit while Emma and Sophie wander aimlessly with their lunch, no doubt thinking their mother has lost her mind.  The nearest bathroom in a haul and I'm not feeling it, so I rallied and changed her clothes and cleaned her up right there.
Oh and p.s. there's a baby strapped to my chest during this hot mess.

There's a story behind every picture and when I think about these little moments, I can hear what I believe to be one of the greatest scenes in cinema history play out.

My Best Friend's Wedding...the end of the movie, before the hilarious scene on the tennis courts with the helium machine...

Julianne: Okay, you're Michael, you're in a fancy french restaurant, you order... creme brulee for dessert, it's beautiful, it's sweet, it's irritatingly perfect. Suddenly, Michael realizes he doesn't want creme brulee, he wants something else.
Kimmy: What does he want?
Julianne: Jello.
Kimmy: Jello?! Why does he want jello?
Julianne: Because he's comfortable with jello, jello makes him... comfortable. I realise, compared to creme brulee it's... jello, but maybe that's what he needs.
Kimmy: I could be jello.
Julianne: No! Creme brulee can never be jello, you could never be jello.
Kimmy: I have to be jello.
Julianne: You're never gonna be jello. 
Love it.  I have no explanation why I think this scene is beyond brilliant.

I'm jello.
I'm embracing all that jiggles and lacks perfection, both figuratively and literally.
There's a lot of messiness around here lately.  The past few weeks have been wonderful and challenging in the same breath.

We celebrated Easter, we gratefully rolled away the stone in our Resurrection garden and danced.  He is risen, He is risen indeed.

Our Bella, sister has kept us on our toes a little bit.  We have kept a close watch on her tumor with repeat ultrasounds which determined the tumor was growing.  After meeting with 2 radiologists, our pediatrician, and a surgeon at Children's, we scheduled surgery for our girl to remove it.

A quick classification of an internal Hemangioma benign tumor was easily removed and Bella handled it all wonderfully.

We came home and got our girl settled with lots of help and lovin' from friends and family.  Bella amazes me every day, just as sweet and peaceful as ever.

Her little body healed up and in addition to a good report, we had some more celebrating to do.

The hubs turned 40 and you best believe we partied.

I love him.  I mean I love him so much.  A mini roast and a line of dudes saluting him for who he is, friends coming from other cities, his favorite cake flown in from the east coast.

Happy birthday ole' man.

I feel like there are days and pockets of space that seem routine and smooth.  Other times it's more of a battle and I catch my breath.  For every moment that the pedal being pushed comes full circle, another pedal comes up needing to be gripped and pushed.

Because behind every picture, there is always a story.
We are thankful for good news.

Thankful for the little things that make her happy and shriek with joy.

Thankful for the way he loves these babies and how in the midst of it He continues to heal my heart and speak to the places that still miss the need of having a daddy hug me till my shoulders touch.

Creme brulee is fabulous, don't get me wrong.  It's decadent and lovely, it's to be savored one bite at a time.
But for now, there's a Costco size tub of a 164 pack of jello sitting in this season of family.
And we're comfortable with that.  We like it.

We like it a lot.