Valentines day. The jury is still out on this topic for me. It's a fun holiday and I know there's history behind it, the chance to show love to others and be loved in return, and it's a great excuse for date night. I love the school parties, the heart shaped everything...but really what it is seems more like is a repeat of Halloween minus the costumes. The kids come home with sacks of candy and little toys that I trip over. Not to mention the dozens of sucker sticks immersed in the floor boards of my car.
Happy valentines day.
And then there's the olympics. I love the olympics, be it winter or summer, no matter the event I just love the whole thing. For some reason this year I'm extra sappy and emotional, the commercials that show the journey to this moment of greatness in pursuit of gold with the world watching. The success and face of victory in achievement, the best of the best in the whole world. And when they don't make the cut, they fall short and watch others take podiums and every so graciously participate in media interviews only to say today wasn't the day.
I cry like a baby. What's wrong with me? I have no idea.
In fact I'd say overall the older I get the more of a sap I've become. I can't handle the usual Ridley Scott films, no longer is Braveheart my all time favorite movie, and when I catch these babies actually being kind to each other when they think I'm not looking, I tear up.
So last week was the whirlwind of such sugar high festivities and events, including a date with my man. My mama came for a visit and no matter how old I get, my heart still needs and hopes for little things I'm capable of but would much rather receive from her.
No one makes a bed like her, a sandwich like she does. You can smell her perfume once she's gone, she little traces of her that were there from organized cabinets to neatly folded laundry.
She's a gem. All the more reason why last week was wonderful and the weekend followed suit.
I saw a movie this fall and we watched it again this weekend and I was reminded how much I loved it.
At the end, the main character has met his true love, married her, buried a parent, had a few kids all the while living a life where he can travel back in time. So if he messes up throughout his day, he runs to the closet to shut his eyes and travel back in time to repeat the same encounter yet with a better or different response. No mess ups but still with authenticity and honesty. Near the end of the film, he rolls out of bed for yet again the routines and rhythms of life and he says...
"And in the end I think I've learned the final lesson from my travels in time;
and I've even gone one step further than my father did:
The truth is I now don't travel back at all, not even for the day,
I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day,
to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life."
I love this. I love the way it makes me feel, how it sounds, how the character in the movie walks it out while making toast and taking kids to school. And yes I know it's a movie and only in the movies is this utopian perfect atmosphere possible. But I love the piece of intentional living, being present, being conscious of not letting things drain you and cause you to be distant and rush.
So onward, to this weekend of lovelies. I have to practice this thing I want in my heart and deep down want to value and quiet the parts of me that place it further down on the list of priority.
This weekend, enjoying...
Toys at the breakfast table
My girls always have toys at the table, they pull them out of nowhere and sometimes it irritates me but this weekend it didn't and tomorrow I hope it doesn't. And speaking of the breakfast table, it doubles as my girls' project table and it usually covered in glue and markers.
We played outside all weekend long. A few errands but mostly choosing to be home around the nest for whatever sport they wanted to play.
I loved this weekend for so many reasons and no reason at all. I love the idea of intentional living and creating space for nothingness and just being present. Sometimes it's hard for me but at the end of the day I want them to look back and know, believe that I always chose them over checklists. That I was fully okay with a messy room and hours of Uno and Candy Land and that bed times were better unrushed.
I'll start there for now and work my way up the list.
...to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day...
to enjoy it.